The Panic-Buying Blues

by Rich Stokes

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FIRST SINGLE from forthcoming album QUARANTINE CABARET, a selection of comedy songs about all things lockdown.

Due to the global pandemic charities are struggling, therefore for every song sold I will donate 20p to The Wildlife Trust

lyrics

I went down to the supermarket
Looked at the shelves and had to gasp
I went on down to the supermarket
Looked at the shelves and had to gasp
Saw lots of empty space
Nothing there to wipe my ass

I went to the assistant
Said "oh kind miss assist me now,
I've been remiss in my preparations
Can you get me loo roll somehow?"
She said "We ran out last monday son
I suggest you purchase kitchen towel."

I went on to the Co-Op,
the corner shop, Aldi
Had a little look in Lidl,
Everywhere the same story...

I called out to my neighbour:
"Neighbour! Neighbour!" (I called out twice)
I'm running low on loo roll, do you have any advice?
He said, "we ran out last Tuesday dude,
Maybe try wet wipes."

My mother and father called me up and they had some happy news
My mother and father called me up and they had some happy news
The Prime Minister's sending everyone a letter
and we can put that paper to good use